How to embarass your teenager

Em had her tonsils out yesterday.

We sat with her before the surgery and asked if she had any last words, Scottie asked if he could have her art supplies. You know, the usual stuff you say to somebody about to be cut.
She shot her Dad the die a slow painful death you bastard look when he told the Doc she smokes. Then we went to breakfast.

It was all over by the time we were done and she was sitting up looking not too perky and almost surprised at how much her throat hurt. The nurses were great about keeping the pain meds coming. That’s how we find out things about her we’d normally have to wait years to hear about. This time she told us how all her friends are always so weirded out when they come to our house because of all the weird art around. “Like, what’s up with that fucking monkey with the watermelon on her head and her nipples showing?”

I’m just happy to be doing one thing right as a parent.

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