He looks sad but he’s fine Scotty. No permanent damage from his death defying leap out of our truck last weekend. He followed me around the yard today as I did some digging up and re potting. I planted the Broccoli Rabe seeds. It’s beautiful here today.

It’s Week 2 and things are settling down nicely. This week we had the So My 15 Year Old Daughter is Pregnant Can She Spend the Night Here With You and Your Daughter visit from one of Em’s friends. Right in the middle of my Six Feet Under episode. My own daughter assured me she would never come to me with that kind of news, that she would take care of it all on her own. She didn’t get why I wasn’t comforted by that.

We also had her first driving lesson and I’m proud to say I only chewed one nail down to the quick, didn’t scream AT ALL, even when there was perfectly good reason to and I only grabbed the wheel once and only because I didn’t want us to die in a head on collision. All in all a pretty good launch. Does anyone have any valium?

panic, fear, resentment and more fear. truckloads of it.
2/3 was “sent home” for good this time and I’m having a time trying to keep my balance here.
Strangely enough along with all the panic and fear that threatens to choke and drown me, there is gratitude and hope and acceptance. I can feel it in there somewhere. Like looking for my favorite socks in my sock drawer. I know they’re in there somewhere, but I can’t get my hands on them at the moment.
So I’ll be strapping myself in AND battening down the hatches and trying not to loose my lunch here for a bit.
Hang on.

panic, fear, resentment and more fear. truckloads of it.
2/3 was “sent home” for good this time and I’m having a time trying to keep my balance here.
Strangely enough along with all the panic and fear that threatens to choke and drown me, there is gratitude and hope and acceptance. I can feel it in there somewhere. Like looking for my favorite socks in my sock drawer. I know they’re in there somewhere, but I can’t get my hands on them at the moment.
So I’ll be strapping myself in AND battening down the hatches and trying not to loose my lunch here for a bit.
Hang on.

panic, fear, resentment and more fear. truckloads of it.
2/3 was “sent home” for good this time and I’m having a time trying to keep my balance here.
Strangely enough along with all the panic and fear that threatens to choke and drown me, there is gratitude and hope and acceptance. I can feel it in there somewhere. Like looking for my favorite socks in my sock drawer. I know they’re in there somewhere, but I can’t get my hands on them at the moment.
So I’ll be strapping myself in AND battening down the hatches and trying not to loose my lunch here for a bit.
Hang on.

My little nest.

It’s warm and
cozy with a soft layer of dog fur. It’s everywhere, there’s no getting
rid of it. I’ve stared long and hard at that dog, wondering how long a
full body shave would take and just how ridiculous would a bald bull
dog look?

I’ve been

dusting
vacuuming
swiffering
mopping
putting shit away
begging the fish to hang on for just one more day
sweet talking his plant, for all the good it does either one of us
and eating broccoli rabe w/ sauteed garlic
I’ve eaten 2lbs in the last 2 days.

Waiting for my baby to come home tonight for a couple of days!

the
shades will be drawn, there will be smoke billowing out of our chimney
and you may see us emerge for food every now and then.

.

My little nest.

It’s warm and
cozy with a soft layer of dog fur. It’s everywhere, there’s no getting
rid of it. I’ve stared long and hard at that dog, wondering how long a
full body shave would take and just how ridiculous would a bald bull
dog look?

I’ve been

dusting
vacuuming
swiffering
mopping
putting shit away
begging the fish to hang on for just one more day
sweet talking his plant, for all the good it does either one of us
and eating broccoli rabe w/ sauteed garlic
I’ve eaten 2lbs in the last 2 days.

Waiting for my baby to come home tonight for a couple of days!

the
shades will be drawn, there will be smoke billowing out of our chimney
and you may see us emerge for food every now and then.

.

My little nest.

It’s warm and
cozy with a soft layer of dog fur. It’s everywhere, there’s no getting
rid of it. I’ve stared long and hard at that dog, wondering how long a
full body shave would take and just how ridiculous would a bald bull
dog look?

I’ve been

dusting
vacuuming
swiffering
mopping
putting shit away
begging the fish to hang on for just one more day
sweet talking his plant, for all the good it does either one of us
and eating broccoli rabe w/ sauteed garlic
I’ve eaten 2lbs in the last 2 days.

Waiting for my baby to come home tonight for a couple of days!

the
shades will be drawn, there will be smoke billowing out of our chimney
and you may see us emerge for food every now and then.

.

doesn’t mean you should.

I know, I know, someone with pink flamingos and garden gnomes in their yard shouldn’t be talking about anyone else’s tacky ass garden ornaments. But there are levels.

My Mother was telling me the other day about my niece’s ass. “Tiene ese fondillo gordissimo!”
I thought maybe she had forgotten about her own rather substantial package her own self, so I reminded her. She just chuckled, like, so what, she can still spot a fat ass and comment on it even if she has one herself.
There are degrees.

Two things that made me wonder today:

1. Finding a fortune cookie fortune floating in Lu’s water bowl that said, Your heart of gold will touch others.
I couldn’t imagine a more fitting sentiment for my little dog.

2. Seeing an old 30’s car ( http://rides.webshots.com/photo/1000313408000196123) with 3 youngish men in newsie caps driving down Main Street. Usually you see an old white guy with lots of money driving this kind of antique car around on Sunday afternoons. This car and it’s passengers wasn’t like that. It made me look down at my own clothes to make sure I hadn’t stepped in to the Twilight Zone.

PS Scottie the peach tree behind Camozzi’s is blooming little pink flowers! And there are buds on the ornamental pear up at Santa Rosa Cemetary.
I miss you baby.

doesn’t mean you should.

I know, I know, someone with pink flamingos and garden gnomes in their yard shouldn’t be talking about anyone else’s tacky ass garden ornaments. But there are levels.

My Mother was telling me the other day about my niece’s ass. “Tiene ese fondillo gordissimo!”
I thought maybe she had forgotten about her own rather substantial package her own self, so I reminded her. She just chuckled, like, so what, she can still spot a fat ass and comment on it even if she has one herself.
There are degrees.

Two things that made me wonder today:

1. Finding a fortune cookie fortune floating in Lu’s water bowl that said, Your heart of gold will touch others.
I couldn’t imagine a more fitting sentiment for my little dog.

2. Seeing an old 30’s car ( http://rides.webshots.com/photo/1000313408000196123) with 3 youngish men in newsie caps driving down Main Street. Usually you see an old white guy with lots of money driving this kind of antique car around on Sunday afternoons. This car and it’s passengers wasn’t like that. It made me look down at my own clothes to make sure I hadn’t stepped in to the Twilight Zone.

PS Scottie the peach tree behind Camozzi’s is blooming little pink flowers! And there are buds on the ornamental pear up at Santa Rosa Cemetary.
I miss you baby.

doesn’t mean you should.

I know, I know, someone with pink flamingos and garden gnomes in their yard shouldn’t be talking about anyone else’s tacky ass garden ornaments. But there are levels.

My Mother was telling me the other day about my niece’s ass. “Tiene ese fondillo gordissimo!”
I thought maybe she had forgotten about her own rather substantial package her own self, so I reminded her. She just chuckled, like, so what, she can still spot a fat ass and comment on it even if she has one herself.
There are degrees.

Two things that made me wonder today:

1. Finding a fortune cookie fortune floating in Lu’s water bowl that said, Your heart of gold will touch others.
I couldn’t imagine a more fitting sentiment for my little dog.

2. Seeing an old 30’s car ( http://rides.webshots.com/photo/1000313408000196123) with 3 youngish men in newsie caps driving down Main Street. Usually you see an old white guy with lots of money driving this kind of antique car around on Sunday afternoons. This car and it’s passengers wasn’t like that. It made me look down at my own clothes to make sure I hadn’t stepped in to the Twilight Zone.

PS Scottie the peach tree behind Camozzi’s is blooming little pink flowers! And there are buds on the ornamental pear up at Santa Rosa Cemetary.
I miss you baby.

Last night I dreamt that Scott and I were at the Inn when 8 Hasidic Jews came to check-in. When we opened the door, they were all standing there in their black suits and curly sideburns, smoking cigarettes. I told them there was no smoking on the property and they laughed and blew smoke in my face. I got mad and started yelling at them. They just laughed and danced around, smoking their cigarettes. Then the owner of the Inn came and was annoyed because I had a bottle of vodka on the desk and I was mean to the Hasids.

Last night I dreamt that Scott and I were at the Inn when 8 Hasidic Jews came to check-in. When we opened the door, they were all standing there in their black suits and curly sideburns, smoking cigarettes. I told them there was no smoking on the property and they laughed and blew smoke in my face. I got mad and started yelling at them. They just laughed and danced around, smoking their cigarettes. Then the owner of the Inn came and was annoyed because I had a bottle of vodka on the desk and I was mean to the Hasids.

Last night I dreamt that Scott and I were at the Inn when 8 Hasidic Jews came to check-in. When we opened the door, they were all standing there in their black suits and curly sideburns, smoking cigarettes. I told them there was no smoking on the property and they laughed and blew smoke in my face. I got mad and started yelling at them. They just laughed and danced around, smoking their cigarettes. Then the owner of the Inn came and was annoyed because I had a bottle of vodka on the desk and I was mean to the Hasids.

The girls are plotting again.

Always. My girl has this idea in her head that she can’t possibly tell a grown-up what she’s really thinking. It makes for shadowy intrigue and shifty maneuvering. Kind of exhausting really.
But this is my weekend and it starts with me going to pick up my new sewing machine! and will end with me dropping the little darlings back at their camp. Yay!

How do people do it? How do they live with teenagers and NOT become drug addicts or alcoholics or evangelists? Or shadows? I’m dangerously close. Inches away.

The girls are plotting again.

Always. My girl has this idea in her head that she can’t possibly tell a grown-up what she’s really thinking. It makes for shadowy intrigue and shifty maneuvering. Kind of exhausting really.
But this is my weekend and it starts with me going to pick up my new sewing machine! and will end with me dropping the little darlings back at their camp. Yay!

How do people do it? How do they live with teenagers and NOT become drug addicts or alcoholics or evangelists? Or shadows? I’m dangerously close. Inches away.