Category Archives: Uncategorized







March 23, 2011






Last night in dream world my grandmother and i were driving to visit my daughter who took one look at my grandmother and ran off because my grandmother was so old and ugly.

i was really mad until i took a look at my grandmother and saw that she was a skeleton and then i wasn’t mad anymore just determined to catch up with my fleeing offspring.


it’s nestling in, this idea of getting old, the slow 
decline into decrepitude. i’m faced with it everyday
as my Mom slips slowly away and i see my grandmother’s face in the mirror. that’s me running in that 
dream as fast as my matronly legs will carry me and that’s
not my grandmother sitting there a bundle of bones in a dress.

i’m not having a face lift or a boob lift or wearing pink velour leggings and a tank top, but i’m not looking askance at anyone who does.

i get it. 

March 18, 2011

It’s hard to get here these days…
I don’t know why.
Here and my little room.
My new little room. I haven’t been in there to make anything since we moved it.
I don’t know why.
Maybe it’s my little pad, it’s so easy to pull out and play and there isn’t anything to clean up and I can go back and pick up where I left off or erase it all and start over. 
No fuss.
Contained.

It may even be why I am not knitting. I have started a project four times and I’m reluctant to start it again. It needs more attention than I am willing to part with at the moment.
  
But there is a great deal of
churning, simmering, composting, settling and reshuffling going on.

March 18, 2011

It’s hard to get here these days…
I don’t know why.
Here and my little room.
My new little room. I haven’t been in there to make anything since we moved it.
I don’t know why.
Maybe it’s my little pad, it’s so easy to pull out and play and there isn’t anything to clean up and I can go back and pick up where I left off or erase it all and start over. 
No fuss.
Contained.

It may even be why I am not knitting. I have started a project four times and I’m reluctant to start it again. It needs more attention than I am willing to part with at the moment.
  
But there is a great deal of
churning, simmering, composting, settling and reshuffling going on.

the laundry is done, the dog walked, we even managed some weeding in the
jungle. there were tulip bulbs hiding in and among the tall weeds. we
didn’t make a dent.

himself cooked us up another outrageously delicious meal and I’m watching
A Man of Her Own,
Barbara Stanwick 1950 I think.

if I had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.

XXXOOO

From Drop Box

the laundry is done, the dog walked, we even managed some weeding in the
jungle. there were tulip bulbs hiding in and among the tall weeds. we
didn’t make a dent.

himself cooked us up another outrageously delicious meal and I’m watching
A Man of Her Own,
Barbara Stanwick 1950 I think.

if I had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.

XXXOOO

From Drop Box
It’s back to the routine…
after a most exquisite homecoming that lasted until yesterday when I had to go back to work.
Today I have to cook and I’m…
not nervous exactly but after eating some of the best food of my life this past week, I’m feeling a little…intimidated about getting back in the kitchen.
El Viejo has become a brilliant cook. I’m an ok cook, I cook peasant food, Puerto Rican peasant food. That’s good, it’s ok but add to that my ban on animal products and, well…

He’s unbelievably gracious and sweet and thankful but…
lentils?
Really? 




I need something to knit.








From Drop Box


It’s back to the routine…
after a most exquisite homecoming that lasted until yesterday when I had to go back to work.
Today I have to cook and I’m…
not nervous exactly but after eating some of the best food of my life this past week, I’m feeling a little…intimidated about getting back in the kitchen.
El Viejo has become a brilliant cook. I’m an ok cook, I cook peasant food, Puerto Rican peasant food. That’s good, it’s ok but add to that my ban on animal products and, well…

He’s unbelievably gracious and sweet and thankful but…
lentils?
Really? 




I need something to knit.








From Drop Box


Home Home Home

Is there anything sweeter?

Nope, there just isn’t.

I’m done for. Tearful has learned how to make calamari….it’s all over now, there is no reason to ever go anywhere again. I’m just staying here in bed until he makes it again.
It’s pouring down buckets and he and Lu just left for walkies on the ranch since they are both such brave souls.

Guilt and Joy.

Mostly Joy.

Thank you!

From Drop Box

Home Home Home

Is there anything sweeter?

Nope, there just isn’t.

I’m done for. Tearful has learned how to make calamari….it’s all over now, there is no reason to ever go anywhere again. I’m just staying here in bed until he makes it again.
It’s pouring down buckets and he and Lu just left for walkies on the ranch since they are both such brave souls.

Guilt and Joy.

Mostly Joy.

Thank you!

From Drop Box

All the Novellas and Criminal Minds I’ve been watching are taking their toll. I had a nightmare last night involving Mexican gangstas. They kidnapped my Lu! Goddamn jerky bastards!
That was the Monk’s father’s favorite curse. That and motherfuckin’ son of a lesbian bitch,
have a certain twisted ring to them that I find useful and horrifying.
Both so insulting on so many levels.

Anyway. I find it fascinating that Criminal Minds is on television at any hour of the day. It’s a horrific show about FBI profilers that you Tearful, would hate but that I find compelling even though it’s giving me nightmares and making me miss all the armaments normally available to me.

Sometimes I’m just not right.

but I don’t judge.

at least not too harshly.

The guilt over leaving my Mom is settling in along with the crazy joy I feel about going home.
This is the hell of it, it all moves into my heart and there ain’t nothing for it.

one more night.

From Drop Box

All the Novellas and Criminal Minds I’ve been watching are taking their toll. I had a nightmare last night involving Mexican gangstas. They kidnapped my Lu! Goddamn jerky bastards!
That was the Monk’s father’s favorite curse. That and motherfuckin’ son of a lesbian bitch,
have a certain twisted ring to them that I find useful and horrifying.
Both so insulting on so many levels.

Anyway. I find it fascinating that Criminal Minds is on television at any hour of the day. It’s a horrific show about FBI profilers that you Tearful, would hate but that I find compelling even though it’s giving me nightmares and making me miss all the armaments normally available to me.

Sometimes I’m just not right.

but I don’t judge.

at least not too harshly.

The guilt over leaving my Mom is settling in along with the crazy joy I feel about going home.
This is the hell of it, it all moves into my heart and there ain’t nothing for it.

one more night.

From Drop Box

Happy Valentine’s Day!
We’ll have to celebrate on Thursday through
June. k?

It’s been quite a day, just got back from Orlando. That endless drive…
nothing but swamp and brown palm trees. I think elephants would be a fine
addition to this landscape.

I hadn’t seen the ghost since I got here but I felt it last night. Maybe she
just stops in to say good bye?

two more nights…

From Drop Box

con todo mi corazon.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
We’ll have to celebrate on Thursday through
June. k?

It’s been quite a day, just got back from Orlando. That endless drive…
nothing but swamp and brown palm trees. I think elephants would be a fine
addition to this landscape.

I hadn’t seen the ghost since I got here but I felt it last night. Maybe she
just stops in to say good bye?

two more nights…

From Drop Box

con todo mi corazon.