overwhelmed
angry
sad
lonely
put upon

I am none of these things.
They are, after all, only feelings. Flighty things that can come on like a fierce storm or

 creep in like a lizard…

This crocodile like creature showed up last night and hung around longer than I wanted and then quietly disappeared.

Just like those pesky feelings.

This morning I was walking the hills when I came upon a snake draped across my path and I thought what the what is with the reptile visitations? The snake would not budge no matter how many stones and curses I flung at it. It lay there looking at me, my heart racing, alone on that hillside.  I finally walked into the dry brush to walk around it. I made it out alive. Barely.

So it’s like that today.

Feelings and snakes.

They come they go. You can throw stones and curse if you want.

The santa anas are back after a very short break but it’s warm and the sky turned from white to blue and the little boy and I took a walk around the neighborhood…

the other morning i was up and out the door at the crack of dawn to drive my daughter to work. on the way back i saw a young woman standing in front of a doorway holding a gold vase in her outstretched to the heavens arms, pouring something out onto the ground.

what ritual was i witnessing i wonder?

it was such a beautiful gesture, this offering. something so out of place, so…primal.
it was one of those moments where i have to ask myself, did i really just see that or hear that?
i don’t always believe what i see or think or hear. i am never completely certain of things.

Things are blooming. The plum tree, the wisteria….the maple and the ginkgo trees are leafing out, the cerinthe is sprawled out drinking in the sun and I planted a blue hydrangea by the front door. The days are too short for all I want to fill them with.

As soon as I heard about Google dumping its Reader I started looking around for an alternative. I love(d) reader, it was part of my morning ritual.  Not being one to hang on to the bitter end, I bid Reader a reluctant goodbye and signed on with Bloglovin and Feedly and have been going back and forth between the two finding fault with both but I have finally decided on Bloglovin because Feedly erased two of my favorite reads (Angella and Ms Moon) and I didn’t even realize it until I hadn’t seen any postings for a few days. I thought you two were much too quiet…
I don’t know what happened but that just made the choice easy.
Bloglovin it is.

Yesterday our little grand baby jumped out of his crib. No major damage done but holy moly there was a bucket of tears and my little heart was squished up in pain. This little guy, aka Danger Mouse, is a map of bruises, cuts, scrapes, bumps and lumps. He is fearless and scary. He goes whenever danger calls, with relish.
He scares the shit out of me.
He and his parents live behind that door and I feel lucky to have them so close, to see them every day. They are a fresh wind that blows through this house. Sometimes a tornado, a hurricane, a fierce lightning storm, sometimes a warm summer shower. Like last Sunday when my daughter came home from work and cooked a beautiful and delicious meal. Her first one ever!
The good, the bad, the scary.
Embrace it, run for the hills or let it all wash over you. You can then air dry or towel off and have some lunch til the next thing happens.

Namaste.