I’m having one of those days. A glance in the mirror reflected this face back to me.  Is no one else alarmed?

I planted spinach and broccoli rabe because I had some seeds. I put the pot inside on the windowsill in the laundry room so no critters can interfere and I can easily mist the soil. It is a hopeful act.

Since I’ve been home I donated more than half of all my clothes to the Goodwill, where most of them came from. Making ready for a move. Again.

My daughter had her baby’s picture took this morning. He weighs roughly 5 lbs. She looks like she’s ready.

If someone would poke out the eyes of the hawks
We sparrows could dance wherever we please!

~Han Shan

Another night of fierce wind. And cold. When it was still blowing this morning I decided to leave the lake and head for the river. El Viejo handled the steep and windy drive north just fine. I found a quiet spot and set out my mat and stood on my head and twisted and let the sun and earth soak into me and it was…glorious. Got all the kinks out, made me smooth. Drove on to another spot even closer to the river where I settled in to charge my solar panel and cook my lunch. French lentils with stir fried asparagus and whole wheat naan. Bread you can make in a skillet! Sat by the river and listened. You know what I heard? An old Pretender’s song I cannot remember the title of or the lyrics, just the tune. The river was singing it to me. I sat and listened and a squirrel approached. I shooed him away but he wasn’t having it. He’d make believe he was leaving but then come back, each time getting closer.  He was stalking me.  A terrorist squirrel.

I can’t blame my paranoia on being married to a cop all these years. I came this way already assembled. I am by nature a suspicious person so this being out in the natural world by myself is a Grand Opening. I am opening the doors and asking my fears to leave quietly. Some of them are stubborn so I am looking for ways to convince them to go.  It’s a tricky business.

PS! The song was NOT a Pretenders song, it was Annie Lennox. I never knew the title of that song. It’s
Cold. Great lyrics and melody.
Thank you Kern River.

I spent last night here by Lake Isabella. Isn’t she pretty? It was a rocky night. The wind blew strong all night long and rocked me to sleep. I am not a fan of the wind so I practiced listening to it instead of being annoyed. It was a chorus of voices, the cheer of a crowd, the deep rumble of a train.
This morning is beautiful. Today I will practice just being here.
Namaste.

I dreamed I was in a play but it was being filmed on the ocean at night. There were a few of us in some sort of invisible floating craft when we all saw a whale approaching. I was already scared of being in the ocean AT NIGHT and we were in the path of this whale with no possible way to escape so we stopped and floated and I held out my hand to stroke it as it swam by. Imagine that.  I woke up and told Tearful right away because my dream world is elusive, dreams slip through my brain like water through an open palm.
This one was too good to let slip. I stroked a whale. 

Our house used to be golden. It’s not that anymore, it has become a burden to me. I no longer care for it. No matter how much I purge, stuff creeps in, like water rising in a sinking boat.  I know to some this house would seem incredibly small but to me, it’s too much. My needs are shrinking, I dream of a smaller place with only the necessities. My Viejo fits the bill for now. I think I’ve got the solar worked out. We shall see. I am leaving any minute now heading east.
See you out there.

We had a good one last night. A real pour down that did not last long but gave us a good soaking.  A larger storm is predicted for tomorrow with high winds and lightning. Woo hoo!  I do love a good rain storm. It washes the world clean.  The earth shook a few moments ago, a 4.5 it seems like. The earth flexing it’s muscles and the sky busting open. It’s a powerful show we are witnessing. 
During this intermission I scrambled to get my solar power hooked up for El Viejo but the instructions suddenly took a turn I could not follow so looks like I will have to wait for a greater mind to help me out. He’ll be around later tonight. In the meantime I made a delicious minestrone soup yesterday and bought firewood and borrowed a movie from the library as well as a couple of good books. 
One of which is Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. Dark but engaging right from the start. I’ve got this in the oven and I’m thinking on and loving this:

Finally a god for the rest of us. One we can create to our individual liking.

There you go.

After the demise of my Bee Coffee mug I searched high and low to find another suitable cup and unexpectedly found one at the Goodwill one fine day. It’s got an Edward Gorey painting on it and it’s heat sensitive so a man appears from behind a black curtain, a cat appears in the potted fern and other little details reveal themselves as I pour my coffee in. It’s silly how much I enjoy this cup! And this plate. My dear Tearful surprised me with this one a few years ago and I only ever use it for “special occasions”. Like when all the other ones are dirty and I have a fine piece of my favorite sweet.

Here is the recipe:

Raw Nanaimo Cake

• 1 Cup Slivered Almonds
• 1/2 Cup Soaked Dates
• 1/2 Cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut
• 1/4 Cup Cocoa Powder
• Dash of Salt

• 1/2 Cup Coconut Oil
• 1 Cup Soaked Cashews
• 1/4 Cup Agave Nectar
• 1Cup Coconut Cream
• 1Tsp Vanilla Extract

• 1/2 Cup Soaked Cashews
• 1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder
• 1/2 Cup Coconut Oil
• 1/4 Cup Agave Nectar

The ever elusive Lu.

She has a new throne these days and though she loves to spend hours lounging upon it, she does not like having her picture made while doing so. If she had big enough teeth she would have taken a big satisfying bite of my arm.

So that’s my yard these days. A junkyard complete with ferocious dog and old ugly furniture. There are daffodils blooming too. They remind me of those tenacious blades of grass you see coming through the cracks of a sidewalk.

When I look back there I can’t help thinking of that documentary Life After People. Nature takes over.

and I have absolutely no desire to interfere in any way. I am transfixed as I watch it crumbling all around me. 

It appears I have taken my little embroidery to heart.

Namaste.

PS. Blogger refuses to let me link that second image which belongs to Marina Molares. More of her series on nature taking over can be found @ marinamolares.com

This morning I went to see the Vivian Maier show at Cal Poly. I never would have known about it if I hadn’t been so sleepy and tired and sick to death of being at work last night. It was dead quiet except for the lunatic wandering into hotel lobbies and being all disheveled and threatening. I picked up the free paper to read my horoscope which told me I have to master the fine art of loving myself.  And so I loved myself so much I took myself to see the exhibit I read about in the tiny arts section of the paper.

There weren’t many photographs but with Vivian Maier, you don’t need many. Just a handful will keep your eyes rolling around in their sockets.

There was only one of her self portraits in the show but there are many more here and they are extraordinary. As are all of her photos. What an amazing story. How lucky we are that someone discovered these long hidden and forgotten treasures.

Go have a look and love yourself like you deserve to be loved.

My visit to the Sam’s Family Spa was cut short. Listening to that small insistent voice that can sometimes just be me wanting or not wanting something or can be a message from beyond me, is something I listen to regardless of it’s source. I woke up and instantly knew I had to leave first thing. No soaking in the tubs or walking around the lake. Breakfast and GO!
It was while I was unplugging my home on wheels that I got a text from my daughter saying she was on her way to the hospital as per her midwife’s recommendation. I guess I haven’t mentioned that she’s pregnant. Well, she is, due at the end of April, another boy baby! She’s a perfect boy baby mom. Tough as nails. When she was little she was all pink tutus and tea parties and though she is as feminine and beautiful a young woman as I’ve ever seen, she has a steel core.
So I made my little toy home go 60 whole miles per hour almost all the way home. He won’t manage that on the hills but with a good wind, down hill, he can make it.
Evidently Mr Chips was the first to get sick and then his mom and finally his grandfather. Chips is fine now fascinated with the dinosaur book I found for him at the naked bookseller. His mom is home but extremely uncomfortable and not complaining about it. Tearful is a hot mess. Sicker than I’ve ever seen him and me, I’m scared. I know I’m next and I am not tough as anything. I’m about as tough as a soft velvet pillow. Maybe.

So here I am, at work, pondering how quickly the last week passed, how quickly and violently everyone fell ill, how blogger will not spell check this post or add my link and how perfectly this woman is carrying this duck on her head.

There is a fierce wind blowing here this morning. Here is a rocky plateau in the desert a few short miles from Quartzsite where I spent the last two nights. Two shockingly quiet nights. The desert seems to absorb sound.
Those last two nights were so still and black save for the twinkling lights of Quartzsite in the distance. It was restful and comforting. The nights were chilly but I stayed warm under all my binkies and though Tearful’s sleeping bag has a nice pad, I found it a bit too confining for my sleeping style which is to thrash and take up as much room as humanly possible. An unconscious wild dance.

 I reunited with fellow nomads. It was great to see Bob and Brad if only to say hello and goodbye and I was so happy to have spent a little time with LaVonne, though not nearly enough. She took me to breakfast and showed me the ropes in Quartzsite and we managed a couple of walks. Both she and Brad are on the first “leg” of their journey to a free life. I’m excited and happy for them.

later….

The fierce wind sounded much worse than it actually was. It was chilly and overcast but the nomads all congregated outside Linda’s rig and I joined them for a little bit before taking off. An eclectic and interesting bunch these nomads. Independent, smart and fearless.
Quartzsite was altogether a must see for me though it was an RV madhouse. I could not get my rig tended to for solar power and turns out that’s a good thing. I need to do it myself. I did get to see the famous naked bookseller.

Sorry, it had to be done.
It’s not everyday you walk into a book store and are greeted by the owner wearing a crocheted penis cozy.

I also went to the giant Gem show. Miles of tables of rocks. Beautiful amazing rocks and machines to cut and polish them. I was out of my depth but the people watching was well worth it.

Now I’m on my way home because of The JOB. This trip has been a sort of tease and though I’m glad I came, it’s been much too short.
I am taking it slow going home.
I have stopped at a place in Desert Springs called Sam’s Family Resort Spa. I’ve read about it and thought it sounded just fine for a stopover on the way home. I need a shower and a soak but more than that I needed food so soon as I arrived I fired up the propane and made myself some black beans and rappini with some pickled onions and coleslaw and since there’s power, I fired up the Chromebook and watched an episode of Downton Abbey while I ate. Power, water, mineral spa! Holy Crap! It’s a whole ‘nother way of camping.
Giant RV’s parked side by side. My little rig looks like Granny Clampett’s in town. It was quiet up until a moment ago. My neighbors are back. They have vehicles they tow behind their motor homes that they get out and about in. One of them is outside as I type this trying, unsuccessfully, to fly his remote control helicopter while his wife is inside watching a sitcom, the canned laughter drifting through the window, punctuating his cursing “the fucking thing”.

I’m proud of myself for hooking up the power and the sewer! Though I have not turned the fridge on since I will be on my way tomorrow, I see no point.
Yes, an entirely different camping scene. Not one I would like to do often. Not having power for three days though, one starts to feel a little scraggly and stinky.

A few more days and yes, I would officially BE Granny Clampett.

If you could change one thing about adults, what would it be?”
“A lot of them are grumpy.”

WE are! We are so grumpy sometimes. When I saw this I was flooded with the feeling memory of what he’s talking about.
I’m fixing to quit being grumpy tomorrow.

Go see more of Brandon’s amazing portraits  here.

I removed the bathroom door and replaced it with my sparkly curtain.

The dining room….

A temporary measure. We removed the chairs and tiny table and replaced with suitcase and pillows but it’s just not working for me.  I didn’t finish the pillows properly as I rushed to get it ready for Tearful and I didn’t yet have the legs for the suitcase “table”. I’ll be putting them on today. I’m counting on a brainstorm to hit sometime soon.

The kitchen….

We tore out the carpet and tried a couple of wood floor ideas but the floor is so uneven we gave up and I papered the floor instead and then found this old runner up in the attic. Not practical but will do for now.

The bedroom….

The lounge…..

Found the curtains at Goodwill, cut and hemmed them and used the tabs as ties. Got new foam for the bench and recovered in canvas tarp.

Buddhist Tangka from El Viejo’s first voyage…

The fridge and two kitchen walls were painted with black chalkboard paint because we had some and it looks cool. I’ll have to get more detail photos of other cute stuff but for now, here it is. My toy home.

ETD: Monday